Well, here we go fellow Wolverines. If you are reading this, you have survived your first week of classes. I trust you have also survived your first week of match-ups thus far as well but before we get into all that, we’ve got a little housekeeping to do.

First, I want to know how picks went in the first round of your draft and also where the Lions defense was chosen. You can send me an email at the address below or make a comment at www.themichigantimes.com underneath my column. Each week I will ask the readers a question. Tell me about your draft and also some interesting facts about your league and whatever customs you may hold. Does your league have an innovative way to hold your draft lottery? Tell me something interesting I’ll publish the best ones in next week’s issue. At some point each week, I will dissect the personalities and dynamics that make this game so much fun yet so annoying.

Furthermore, every once in a while I would like to do a “from the inbox” where I address your questions, concerns, queries and conundrums (credit to Dr. Paroske, Communications Department.) – feel free to ask me anything. For example, when asked what qualifies me to write about sports my only answer would be a willingness to embarrass myself.

This week, let’s talk about my personal favorite: the professional. This is the guy in the league who, by the end of the season, is doing his best impression of Dustin Hoffman in “Rain Man.” The professional’s head becomes so engorged with random stats they begin to lose their grip on reality come playoff time. This is the owner who comes to the draft with so many spreadsheets and draft guides that he doesn’t actually think at all during the draft. He just spends the process flipping through papers and crossing names off of lists. The commissioner of my league is one such individual. I one day snuck into his office last year and was amazed. The best way to describe it would have to be a cross between mission control at NASA and the office of Russell Crowe’s character in “A Beautiful Mind.” These owners can tell you Brady’s completion percentage and quarterback rating on Thursday nights after Tom has had Maine lobster for lunch, but somehow never end up turning this knowledge into victories.

Next week, I’ll analyze the persona that we all hate to love and love to hate, the troublemaker.

Joseph can be reached at josephpa@umflint.edu.