Jesus was a Democrat

I have listened to several theories in recent days trying to explain the meaning of the election results. I have heard over and over that this election was about values. I have also heard that President Bush now has political currency. He has a strong majority that has a clear mandate. Supporters of the President have demanded religion over rhetoric. These opinions made me think, “What would Jesus do?” I am not a biblical scholar so I pulled out a Bible. I couldn’t believe what I found! Jesus was a democrat! Matthew 15:30 states, “Then great multitudes came to Him, having with them the lame, blind, mute, maimed, and many others; and they laid them down at Jesus’ feet, and He healed them.” If Jesus were a Republican He would have asked for a medical insurance card. If these sick people didn’t have one, He would have suggested getting a job and opening up a medical savings account. He would have also warned the people not to import any prescription drugs because that would be illegal. Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” If Jesus were a Republican He would have reminded Peter about the three-strikes law. He then would have suggested Peter file for a change of venue to Texas where capital cases are easier to prosecute. Mark 12:41-43 tells us, “Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which makes a quadrans. So he called His disciples to Himself and said to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury.’” If Jesus were a Republican He would have asked the rich people to reduce their contribution. He would have then instructed the rich people to take this extra money and spend it. He would have suggested that spending would improve the widow’s economic situation. He would have also suggested supporting tax cuts for the wealthy people. Finally, He would have written out a tax-deductible receipt for the religious contribution. One day Jesus was lost. Mary and Joseph were looking for him for three days. Luke 2:46 finishes the story, “Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.” If Jesus were a Republican he would not have been trying to learn. He would have first tried to impress upon the teachers the need for a voucher system for religious schools. He would have then demanded that the school upgrade its facilities and educational system, but He would have refused to provide any money for such work. He would have then demand that the teachers be qualified. He would have also suggested that the best way to compensate this profes-

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